My Love, My Life

 I pray that God blesses you today and always. You can do all things through Christ. I have a concern. I have been writing in this old fashioned blog since 2003 or some time around then. You found the blog, I believe that it is you. We connected. That was almost twenty years ago. Am I delusional in thinking that you really want to marry me? In the state that I am in I need to know your intentions and if they are something that you plan to do sooner rather than later. Will you actually say the words to me? If not,  I am not going to die if you don't, but I need to know your intentions. Is this real or just my imagination. Help me with this. Be Blessed and be a blessing to someone My Love. 

 May God Bless you and allow you to have a restful and peaceful sleep. We are all interdependent on one another. We cannot do this by ourselves. God is in everything that we invite him to be in. I continually ask God to help me be who he wants me to be. Help me to show love and kindness to the ones I love, including you. Today was not a good day for me and I recognized that so I took measures to help myself and neglected my family. I know my mother wanted me to do something today but I just couldn't. Yesterday I was up and productive. The garbage/refuse collectors only picked up half of our garbage. I called the Village office and Groot regarding the discrepancy. I was my old self. Demanding and determined. They said they would come back by 6pm. They didn't. I called the Village and left a message for them to contact me in the morning. They called in the morning and my mother spoke to them. They said call Groot again. She told me about it and indicated she wanted me to call Gro...

 Praise God Today and Everyday. Prayer works. I was reading the bible this morning about how Herrod had killed James and the crowd loved it so he imprisoned another disciple to publicly kill him the next day. Guards were assigned around him but the prayers of the people were heard by God. An angel was sent and led him out of prison. God can do what man cannot do. What is impossible for Man is possible for God. Herrod searched for him but could not find him. He aligned himself with people that he was able to suppress and called himself a god. Immediately God showed him who the real God is. Faith, submission, and recognizing who the real authority is is what I get from that. God continues to show me submission and faith. I submit to God's will. I pray for what I hope he hears and will answer. I pray that you are released and found totally vindicated of the lies and smears. I believe someone put them up to it with a little monetary reward for them. I also submit and pray for the marri...

 My days are so screwed up I never seem to make the night time, Good Nigh My Love. Up all night sleep in the afternoon. I got to get this together. God is working with me.  John16:22 So with you , now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy. In that day you will no longer ask me anything. I tell you the truth, my father will give you whatever you ask in my name. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive and your joy will be complete.  Praise God, Praise God. Ask in Jesus' name and we will receive. We need him every moment in our lives.  But we can't dwell on self-pity, self preoccupation, or just giving up. We feel empty when we don't turn our problems over to Jesus. I must not despair. God is with me and I must ask for what I need from him. Ride or Die as the preacher said yesterday. Together we can succeed. My Love have a blessed day and be a blessing to someone....

 I am feeling better and I hope you are too. I have to trust in God and know that God is in all things and will guide me in what he wants me to do. When I quit thinking I am in charge of something God can open doors and make the impossible happen, in his own time, God will let me know I have no power at all. God is my pilot. I pray that this is a lesson I can learn. My faith helps me through. Good or bad, God is with me. He will go through the trouble with me. I have many thoughts about you an me that I have to resolve. I am already mentally depressed and can easily get discouraged, but I will trust in God. If nothing comes of this, then that is what happens, I will accept what ever God wants. If something comes out of this then that too is what happens for me and you through God's will. God is still in control and he will decide where this goes. I forgive you and myself for trying to do things on our own. I pray to God to either love this relationship or end it. I don't know w...

 It gives me such warmth and love in my heart when I can read your words and take them to heart. It is easy to become weary when doing good, sometimes we feel unappreciated, but we have to remember that we don't do it for appreciation but to help those who are in need of our love, comfort, companionship and assistance. But knowing that with the strength of God whom we believe in and trust in we can do what needs to be done. My Love, Have a blessed day and be a blessing to someone special. I am better today. Had a simple procedure yesterday that went well. Resting today and can't wait to have a real meal tomorrow. I love talking to you like this because I know that its you and me. No in between people. Just you and me. 

 It always brings warmth and love to my heart when I know that I am communicating to you directly. I'm sad that for the last three months I have bee ill and not able to focus on our communication and love as sincerely as I would like. I think of how you have been falsely accused and I pray daily for you . I pray that God will shut the accusers mouth, that he will bind their evil efforts, that the truth will prevail and bring freedom and vindication for you. I ask God to confound their words and actions so that their own words and actions will reveal the truth. They will bring condemnation on themselves. Their words can bring pain for the false accusations and some people will always have that "well, maybe'" attitude, but you didn't need them anyway and their true colors are shown so you know how to deal with them in the future. I want you to remember that today is a day given to you by God and he desires to walk with you through this day and everyday. Good or bad,...

 Happy Valentine's Day! I have been watching the service on tv/you tube. I like it because the scren is bigger and the sound is better on the tv than the computer. I miss you My Love. Just seeing you puts a smile on my face. As I heal and prepare for new adventures that don't include teaching, I wonder what God hs in store for me. I don't complain. I know that many have more complaints than myself and they don't complain. I ask for forgiveness for thinking that I am important in decisions. But I also thank God for reminding me that I am unique, made in his image and that Jesus loved me enough to give his life for me. I will try to honor that and make him proud. I will also forgive myself for the things that I have done in my life and the things done to me. I do not't harbor ill will for anyone. I am learning how to live in the present and prepare for the future. The past goes in the Sea of forgetfulness. If God said forget it, then forget it I will. Try and have  go...

 I'm just so happy to be able to type that to you. I have been in the hospital for the past 11 days. Seems what was going  on with me was a severe toxicity reaction to one of the new drugs they gave me. While it took 11 days, I am so glad to feel better. I missed you and wanted to reach out. Well I'm tired and its late. It feels good to connect with you again