My Love, My Life

 I called my daughter and she found my spare, she picked him up from school, yelled at him all the way while coming to me for sure. When they got there , we all looked again and he found them. Thank God. He road back home with me because he didn’t want to hear his mom continue to yell at him. I said nothing about it. I was calm, asked about his day at school, they lost the game, 11-5, so I knew he was bummed already, so we just drove home. I thanked him again for finding, never complained about him leaving me. All is well. Than God for letting him find my keys. Take care, my love and have a blessed day.

 I ask God to help me become a better listener and doer of the word. Sometimes it’s hard to listen to God. Take yesterday. I brought food to the micro pantry at the library. Good deed. I went to my grandson’s baseball game in auroral. Lost my keys in the grass. Thank God my car was unlocked. Rain coming down, I’m just sitting praying to God to let this rain stop so I can go look for my keys. He gets on the bus with the team to go back to school. I’m alone and upset with myself for being so careless. 

 James 1:19-21 Listen, Listen, Listen Words, Words, Words Doing, doing, doing Listening and Doing 19  My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,   20  because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.   21  Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. 22  Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.  23  Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror   24  and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.   25  But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in wha...

 Thankfulness, acknowledging that everything-all my possessions and all that I am come from God. My house is your house. Let me know first so I can clean up, -lol-but from the beginning I was able to get this house through God’s intervention. I give Him all the glory. The fact that two single black women, one with two children, just barely making enough to qualify was God looking out for me. Managing to keep this home for almost 23 years is a miracle. Never been late on the mortgage. We refinanced once so it’s now 17 years till it’s paid for instead of seven, but I give God the glory that I’m still here. I follow your lead, My Love. You tell me what to do. If you wasn’t in exile, I could understand more, but in spite of the exile I am with you and I follow you. God is my guidance and I will be obedient. Who’s ever hospitality we have, we are blessed. I love you. Have a blessed day and be a blessing to someone. Hebrews 12:28-29 Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot...

 As I go through the day today, I will make my choices one at a time because the decisions I make affect my future. I rely on Jesus to walk me through my day. Instead of just making a map of today I will follow God’s path for me. I keep trying to control all the events but I have to let go and let God be in charge. Trust me, he says. Trust you, he says. Trust. 

Lamentations 3:22-26 New International Version Because of the  Lord ’s great love we are not consumed,      for his compassions never fail. 23  They are new every morning;      great is your faithfulness. 24  I say to myself, “The  Lord  is my portion;      therefore I will wait for him.” 25  The  Lord  is good to those whose hope is in him,      to the one who seeks him; 26  it is good to wait quietly      for the salvation of the  Lord .

 You know I worry I'm too old for you. I worry that I'm too fat for you. I worry that you think I'm crazy because I have depression and anxiety problems. I worry that you won't find me interesting. I worry too. I'm looking for work now and I worry about if I will find the right job and not another stress filled crazy job. I know we can't have everything perfect but we just have to get out there and do it. I just convince my self to apply to at least three jobs each day. I haven't heard from anyone yet. But eventually I will. I just keep trying. 

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 New International Version 16  Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  18  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.  'Welcome problems as perspective-lifters. If you enter a problem with no immediate solution your your response to that situation will take you either up or down. You can either lash out at the difficulty, resenting it and feeling sorry for yourself, or you can look at the problem as a ladder enabling you to climb up and and see your life from God's perspective. "- from my self help materials I agree that the reality is you have no money and neither do I but couples have made it on less. We can either decide to keep it like this or we can tak...

 I thought about you all day. On the weekends I I think you aren’t looking to hear from me. I like having some sort of response from you during the week. I miss you. Not seeing you at all is a sort of torture. As in today’s sermon the sheep hear and follows the Shepard. When will they make up their minds? I wonder what will happen after the decision. Whatever it is doesn’t change my heart for you. I talk of asking me and you probably think I want a big tado  but really, the rev could marry us in the chapel with witnesses. But then I’m assuming you want to marry me. Our connection is so great. This isn’t a short dance, it’s a long marathon. We keep going until the end. Just to be with you is important. All the rest is just dressing. My love I pray that God gives you mercy and grace tonight. Be blessed and be a blessing. I’m watching the oscars and giving you my full attention. Keep your spirits up and know that God’s love is always with us. Love never fails.

 Matthew 28 The Ressurection of the King I feel good about your return. I was just reading your brochure for your 25th anniversary, I keep it in my bible, today I picked it up to read. You have been a strong component in the black community and I believe they know that very well. We will not go quiet into the night if they don’t do the right thing and return you to service. Your accomplishments with the industry marketing to kids using alcohol, and countless more inappropriate actions, to take on the billboard campaign, Jerry Springer, the the ban of the sale of grain alcohol. All this was done before your 25 years of service. Some people would just sit down and retire. Not you, My Love, look at the accomplishments you have done and continue to do. The senior apartments, Renaissance Park, the Stein gardens, Christmas and thanksgiving turkey and food giveaways. Your response to the needs of the community is astounding. Don’t ever feel like you don’t matter. You are awesome. Just as ...

 I’m exhausted. I couldn’t go to sleep without reaching out to you. I started the day taking Austin to school, then went to lafitness to try and workout, then came home, showered and went to my dental cleaning appointment. Had an appointment with my psych doc right after that. Then had to pick Austin up because they got out early at 2pm, went to the store so I could cook dinner, cooked dinner, waited for my friend to stop by. Her mom died recently and she has been reaching out. Now finally, I have some me time, time to spend thinking of you.  This morning when I was reading my bible I was directed to Daniel 6, On the Menu at the Lion’s Club. I didn’t like it because it makes me think of an unfair system. I read this as a person who is watched and examined day and night. Like you have been. Private and business life is fully examined. Then the persecution begins, even though he is not guilty, but guilty, people have to be in other people’s business just because they can. Daniel...

 I would come to you today if I knew where to come. I haven’t pushed it because I am following your lead. Whatever you want is fine by me. I am here, and will always be here for you. Jonah 1  Jonah’s Disobedience Receiving the word and not doing anything about it is more of a disaster than doing something and nothing happens. You preached on that and I wrote it down in my notes. Have we ever turned away from something we knew God wanted us to do? I know I have and I will begin to use all the willpower I have to stay the course. God will ask us to do things that are difficult, uncomfortable and even painful. I pray that God will give us the courage and strength that we need to obey his word. We make a genuine turning to God’s word for us. Together we will be, my love. You and me.  I volunteer on Saturday morning and signed for church on Sunday. I’m staying close. 

 Philippians 4:1 Stand Firm in the Lord Therefore, my brothers you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, that is how you should stand firm in the Lord, dear friends! When I think of the people I care for the most, my deepest desire is that they are safe and loved. I pray that they can stand firm with their faith.I pray I can stand firm with my faith.I have to remember what I was taught and use those teachings when trouble rises, as it surely will. Put an end to disagreements, rejoice always and fill my mind with good thoughts, like how happy I will be when I see you again. How you will  be happy too. I ask God to show me the thoughts and attitudes that are robbing me of my joy and weakening my faith. I will obey your wish to stay in faith. Faith in God. Stand firm in faith. Have a blessed day My Love.

 Philippians 2:26-27 For he longs for all of you and is distressed because you heard he was ill. Indeed he was ill, and almost died. BUT GOD had mercy on him, and not on him only but also on me, to spare me the sorrow upon sorrow.  BUT GOD, sometimes when we are servants of Christ we have to be faced with what we enjoy most and what we enjoy least about serving others. I know the council was horrible to you just from your lamentation. When you hurt, I hurt. I pray that Christ will give you the heart of a servant. Examine your plans and goals, it ain't over til God says it's over. How can you bring your own interest closer to harmony? How can you negotiate with the ones who hold you in exile? What is their futile attempt but to delay the inevitable. Is there more evidence they seek, more investigations, what can it be? They want you to do something unreasonably unfair for you. Holding your ground against those that want to persecute you is what Paul did. Being a servant of God ...

Haggai 1:13-15 New International Version 13  Then Haggai, the  Lord ’s messenger, gave this message of the  Lord  to the people: “I am with you,” declares the  Lord . 14  So the  Lord  stirred up the spirit of Zerubbabel son of Shealtiel, governor of Judah, and the spirit of Joshua son of Jozadak, the high priest, and the spirit of the whole remnant of the people. They came and began to work on the house of the  Lord  Almighty, their God,   15  on the twenty-fourth day of the sixth month. The Promised Glory of the New House Getting our priorities straight by building God’s house. Fellowshipping, worshipping and going out to do his work. I ask God to show me his priorities. We have so many different things that take up our time, but we have to put God first. We have to line up our words with our actions. I love thinking about God giving you to love me and me to love you. What a gift. To be love...

 I'm a believer that there is a future for us and I will wait as long as I have to to bring our relationship into fruition. I feel blessed to be loved and to love someone who is worthy of my love and I am worthy of his love. Rich or poor our love still stands. It puts a smile on my face to know that I am loved. 

 When I think about us I pray that it it real.I want to think like I am waiting for you to return from an exile and we will become a couple in real life. I want to believe that dream, but what if you aren’t quite ready yet? What if you need more time? Saving myself for you and your world. I know I want us to be in relationship, but will you be ready for that? I trust God to lead me and you n this situation.

 I started this yesterday and didn’t get a chance to get back to it. I went to church on Sunday and it was good to be in the church with others fellowshipping. I finally got my notice from my job. I knew I wasn’t returning, it was too stressful for me. I have until June. I have some decisions to make and move forward with my life. At first I crawled up in a ball, then I reminded myself I didn’t want the job anyway. There are more options and jobs out there. But that was an unhealthy relationship for me and I am glad that it will end. I see the cardinal had enough of those phone calls. Hopefully when they meet this month, the news will be in your favor. I pray that it will be. I missed not seeing you at church but I know that one day you will return, My Love. We must both be patient and trust God with his timing and clarity in the situation. Trust in God. Be blessed My Love and be a blessing to someone.

  The World Hates the Disciples 18  “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.   19  If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. 20  Remember what I told you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ [ a ]  If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. Keep in mind that it hated me first. When you have difficulties, remember Jesus had them too. Fellowshipping with friends is what Jesus did. He wasn’t pompous. He was friends with the good and the bad. He was strong enough to know those who would obey him and those who wouldn’t. Discipleship costs. His disciples loved him. He was not a business associate, he was a friend. The disciples knew they could trust in the good and the bad. Having friends in fellowship helps to reduce the st...

 God is good. I thank God for forgiving and healing me today. I pray that my Holy Spirit will help me walk and know God’s way today and always. Teach me your ways Lord.  Hosea 14:2 Take words with you and return to the Lord. Say to him : Forgive all our sins and receive us graciously, that we may offer the fruits of our lips. The fruits of our lips are praises to God. I remember my grandmother saying I’ll praise him in the morning, I’ll praise him in the noon time and I’ll praise him in the evening. I praise the Lord all day long. I really loved my grandmother. Now that I’m a Nana and Grandma Nana, I want to also be like her and praise him til the sun comes up. I’m going to Seattle in May for my grandchildren’s birthdays. They are one day apart just like my brother and me. I’ll be gone May 6 - May 13th. I’m excited to see them again. It’s been a long time. I’ll miss you too. It’s the Mother’s Day weekend and I know church will have a special something for mother’s. I’ll watch ...

 I forgive her for her actions. I’m not perfect, I’m human. I found her act to be an act of prejudice. If I was white, I bet she would not have called you. She probably thinks it wasn’t a racist move, but it was. I don’t talk to her anymore, the friendship was falling off anyway before that. I hold not grudges, I just choose to keep her at arms length if she is ever around me. I know how to smile and act like all is well. I may have blown it out of proportion at the time and I’m sorry for you pain of being in the middle. It’s over and done. Let’s not speak of this again.  Have a blessed day, My Love.

 Acts 4:32 Oneness of Heart All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his ow, but they shared everything they had. Oneness of heart and mind. That gives me a sense of peace and harmony. When the battle is spiritual, our need for each other is crucial. God has put you in my life because we have a need for each other spiritually. I thank God for giving me such a valuable gift. I want you to know that when I stopped coming to St Sabina I still went to church with my mother out here. She attended the early service, 7am so I was always able to watch my church. I just didn’t turn heathen, just got mad with myself for even asking her to do something for me. I have learned forgiveness for you and your response which I thought was offensive but I can see both sides now. I thought I was desperate and I wasn’t because I was able to borrow money else where. I’m done with her though. I felt she didn’t need to call you and that’s what angered me...

 I really worked myself today. I racked the lawn(in the front) and put out Preen with the spreader. All of that before 9am. Then went to the gym and had a free personal training session and he really worked me. I went int to the pool to do so relaxing. Went home, had a counseling session today, then did a little painting. I signed up for church this Sunday. I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO BECOMING MORE INVOLVED IN WHAT YOU ARE INVOLVED IN.  I'm told by my counselor that I'm doing the right thing by keeping busy, staying focused and my mind focused on the important things in my life. You make a difference in my life and I am willing to do what I have to do to get back in your life and love  after almost two years. I miss you. I'm going to keep myself busy so I won't be so lonely. Take Care and Good Night My Love. 

 Vipers, are always wanting something. What can you give them or compromise with them without loosing your integrity. They want your status and respect. They want a contact that you have they are willing to compromise on something you just have to find out what it is. God said we have to be clever as the snakes around us (my bible has that). You are loved and many people will put their life and reputation on the line for you, . Find out what it will take for them to reinstate and compromise with them. Don’t take the first offer but find out what they want that will satisfy their greed and pride. Don’t be stubborn, don’t lose your integrity, but fin out what the heck they want to give you your life back. Love you.

 Happy Resurrection Day. I also said it on your Facebook page. I imagine that this exile is becoming extremely tedious and lonely. You have plans that you can’t execute. I’m ok. I was overworked, overly stressed and depressed. I’m taking my medicine, exercising and painting. I’m doing all of the right things to keep my anxiety and depression down. I’m not crazy, just had an episodic event due to huge amounts of responsibility from work. I want you to know I am better, pretty much back to normal. Loneliness is always hovering, but I reach out to God and that helps some. I pray that you have someone on your side who can speak good things about you and be convincing to touch the hearts of that executive board. You are a pioneer, go getter, and a commander. You have a free spirit and that scares the people who are making decisions about your future. I will pray Rhett God will change their hearts and believe in the truth. I’ll pray for you  and keep your executive board in my praye...

 Romans 5:1-5 Reasons to Rejoice Therefore, since We have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through who we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so. But we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character and character hope. And hope does not disappoint us because God has poured out his love Into our hearts by the Holy Spirit whom he has given us. While we are disappointed we know God has his own time. Rejoice in the Lord always. We will meet soon. My Love I pray that your nightmare will come to and end swiftly. 

 Truly your letter was a disappointment. But if I’m going to love and care for you then I need to love and care for the community. With or without you. These are trying times and I am connecting myself back to my faith community. I will still be there tomorrow. 

 Hello. It’s been a busy day yesterday. I attended a wake (the funeral was for family, due to COVID-19) . Then it’s being a taxi for my c Grandson. He plays football now and the first home game was yesterday. I count it all good. To care for others is to be full of care. I’m so excited to know that tomorrow I will see you. I am full of care for you. Have a blessed day and be a blessing to someone My Love.