Good Morning My Love

 Fears - “Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” - Les Brown

I am so sick of this year. This was going to be a really poopy post but just a half hour ago I got a call about a job. They are checking my references, which will be exactly as the letters stated, then I might have a job with Aurora school district 131 as an outplacement coordinator for special education. I’m looking forward to it.  I started this post almost two hours ago. I was feeling really depressed, sad and fearful. I had to pick up my car and it cost just under a thousand, which was too much for me without a job. Then there’s our relationship. I pour out my heart, I’m open as I can be under the circumstances and I get the feeling from you that you are happy with the way things are. I write posts telling you how much I love you and care for you and that sustains you. But I need more. I took a leap of faith down this road with you and I am bound for life. I’m not perfect, but I love you. I think most of this distance is my fault. Our lack of communication, me. What will it be like when we see each other again? Quiet, aloof, you on one side of the room, me on the other, no eye contact, no recognizable hellos or how you doing, just there. That’s what hurts my heart the most. Together, but not together. I’m trying not to get so hung up on this. I’m taking your lead and to me that lead is avoidance, indifference and somewhere in there love too. What makes sense? I’m so confused. Be blessed My Love.

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