Keep Hope Alive

Isaiah 40:31

but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. 



 I can only make I statements. I feel like we are an old married couple. Misunderstanding each other and understanding each other. I know I'm a handful and I am aware that I have made mistakes that I ask God for forgiveness. I hold onto God for my life. I have thought of ending it all but I would go to hell and I don't want to do that, if I can help it.  My depression is being helped by my activity and my meds. I admit that I am depressed and have anxiety, but I keep waking up believing that this will be a better day for me than yesterday. That God's word is true in my life and that the righteous will not be forsaken. I pray that I am included in the righteous. He is the Lord of the breakthrough. He did it for me many times and I know he will do it again. I know that when you ignore me I take offense. You probably feel the same way. So we go on and keep ignoring each other. These are my statements on how I feel. It makes me feel that I am not important to you and that i am making this blog more that it really is. You did seek it out and found me. I did respond in kind. We just don't know how to act in person.  So in person you ignore me and I can accept that this is all there is between us. We don't know how to be a receiver and communicator in  person. It's our in person that disgraces me. Your reaction in person makes me think I'm a desperate woman who has read this wrong. I believe there were times when you were ready and I thought I was but I froze up. I take my responsibility in the situation. That was then, this is now and I'm reading that you are not in that frame of mind anymore. My family needs me for my share of the finances and I accept that. Leaving is not just getting up and going. Neither of us has an easy road. But it can be done where everyone is taken care of. Keep Hope Alive. I just wish that you have the grace, mercy and love of God. I do not know what to do but I felt a need for a response. Maybe my Hello, My Love was too much, maybe not enough Who knows. It's a confusing world. I just ask God to guide me and keep me close. I'm grateful for every minute with you, good or bad. Thank you for loving me at one time.I know you love me with the love of God but I thank you for loving me as a deserving partner for you. Thank you My Love. 

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